List: A Few Things Wayne LaPierre is Afraid Of

In fairness to Mr. LaPierre, we all have our fears. Snakes, for example. Our fears help us to avoid unnecessary risk and decide how to proceed. But, when fear becomes paranoid pronouncements, they become dangerous; Mr. LaPierre’s are surely dangerous. That doesn’t mean we should act out against him though. We should forgive, and then promptly forget, him.

Besides, he is only really afraid of a few specific things.

  • Electromagnetic pulses
    The news media
    “Jackbooted government thugs”

Join us, won’t you, as we detail them?

Electro-Magnetic Pulse (EMP) Weapons

And that isn’t even the half of it! Wayne and the NRA want you to know about the mortal danger of the following threats:

ISIS (which is apparently knocking on the front door of your suburban home):


Source: America’s First Freedom

The news media:

“Jack-booted government thugs”: Did you know that American law enforcement officers wear “Nazi bucket helmets and black storm trooper uniforms”? Wayne LaPierre knew. In fact, he’s been warning people for decades about the danger of these “government thugs” [shudder].

Jack-Booted 1 Jack Booted 2
Interestingly, LaPierre’s answer to all of the fear he is more than happy to provide for you, for me, and for everyone, is more guns.

That is it. Scared of electromagnetism? Go buy a gun and stand and fight against physics! Terrified of the news? A gun can solve that too; as Elvis knew, shooting it is much easier than getting up to turn it off. Any fear can, apparently, be permanently alleviated with a trip to your local gun show and the (preferably background check free) purchase of a firearm.

Thank you, Wayne! You’ve solved all the world’s problems; all we needed was to look at them down the barrel of a gun.

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